New Me

So, I am usually not one to post personal stuff. For me it is all about my kids because they are my life right now. In this instance, I am going to cross my line. I am so happy. Actually, happy isn't the word for it is is pure unadulterated JOY!!! I can honestly say that I have never felt this way before in my life. I am not sure how many of you know this but about four years ago I started taking an anti depressant. I have been ashamed of the fact that I needed it and haven't really shared a lot about it with anyone. Last week we went to Wichita Falls for Christmas. We left Friday after Kirk came home from work. I was so excited we got to stay all the way through Christmas. Kirk was supposed to work Christmas Eve but for once his boss was generous and said don't bother driving back from WF to work on Monday. About the time we drove through Decatur, I realized I had forgotten the medicine bag I had so carefully packed with my prescription and all the "just in case" meds for our kids. Kirk said "we better go back and get it" I said "are you crazy...we have four kids in the car?" So we didn't go back. I don't know how much you know about anti-depressants but you have to take them everyday and you aren't supposed to just stop taking them cold turkey. So, I am not great about remembering everyday but I am pretty regular with it. Anyway, so this doesn't turn into an epic blog I will cut to the chase. I have tried several times to wean myself from this drug and it never works. I even tried running so I could maybe quit taking it. Today makes 8 days for me without it and I feel like could burst with JOY. I don't know if anti-depressants suppress other things in your life but I feel like I am alive for the first time in a long time. Recently, I was talking with a friend about the side effects of this drug and we both wondered how it could be helpful when it makes it hard to sleep, you lack a sex drive, you gain weight and basically live in a haze of muted feelings. Let's just say none of those have been a problem this week. Kirk is usually the first to notice if i haven't been taking my medicine and this week he is like" don't ever take it again."

For the first time, in a really long time the music and sermon in church touched me. The sermon was on the prodigal son but he talked a lot about the elder son who didn't run away. He said we need to stay in touch with God on a daily basis so we don't feel disconnected. He also said many Christians he meets say they love God and are happy in life and he wants to say"could you tell that to your face" because they look so sad and downtrodden. Anyway, I am not sure where all this will take me but I wanted to share it with my family and friends. Pray for me please to keep this JOY and to use it for God.

Trains, Family and A Race

Kylie and Katerna on the way home on the train

Longhorn downtown, Cara loves them
Uncle Kevin & Caleb on his first train ride

57 foot tree downtown
Karissa at the NASA booth

Mom and Caleb behind the big tree

Cara and Karissa love ther Aunt Katerina

Christmas is only 14 days away and I have only shopped for one kid. we have been sick one after the other. First, the kids; then Kirk, only days before his fiirst marathon and now me. Kirk ran his marathon Sunday in the freezing cold. He and Wendell were able to run the whole thing together. Kirk was very exhausted at the end. Kevin, Katerina and I stood by the finish line to cheer him. We froze. Thus, I come home with chills and fever which turns into strep or maybe a virus that is hghly contagious. Kirk hasn't had tme to recover, yet. He has been taking care of kids and me. I feel a little better, today.

We had a great time ths weekend with Kevin and Katerina. Saturday we took the train (first time for the kids) to Dallas. We picked up Kirk's race packet, toured where JFK was shot, had some lunch and came home. The packet pick up was at the conventon center. They had a lot of vendors and free stuff. They also had face panting,finger casts, a bounce obstacle course. Saturday night, we went downtown to see all the light and Santa. Santa wasn't there!!! The whole way there all Caleb could talk about was HoHo and then we get there and he only works days on the weekends. We did get to walk around and see the 57 foot real Christmas tree. There was a ballet going on telling the story of a Christmas Carol but it was hard to follow and we got cold standing still. We found a Starbucks and Kylie had a ball playing in all the leaves on the sidewalk.

Elfin Fun

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http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1127980124
This elfin' greeting brought to you by OfficeMax®.