Back from the Dead

Wow! It has been forever since I have been on here and so much has happened. I am now living in an apartment in Fort Worth and loving it. I have the kids half of the time and I work in Plano at a decorating store. I love my job. It has been my salvation through all of this.

Last spring I attended a life changing class called Discovery. I met a lot of wonderful people there and I met myself there. I had not realized how lost I was until I went there. They taught me to take care of myself so I could take care of others. They also taught me that I have value and a voice that is just as important as the next person. I also learned that I had no dreams. I learned that I have life experiences that can help others and I know things. It was a revelation for me.

In the middle of these classes I lost my step mom, Dee. I miss her very much and wish she were here to confide in. My family has come along side of me and helped me through this road I am on. I realize now how much I miss them and how isolated from them I have been.

Kirk and I are in the midst of a divorce. Hopefully, we will be able to settle it agreeably. I never meant to hurt him but I think this all came as a shock to him. I just realized I needed someone who could love me and accept me for who I am not fo being who and what they want.

I feel like I have come out from under a rock and there is a whole new world open to me. It is very liberating to make your own decisions and stand on your own two feet when you never thought you could. The kids are doing ok. We have been seperated since October and I think that gave the kids time to adjust some to all of this. They are sad and are getting used to two houses but overall they are doing great. They miss what we had but are very strong. We hope to keep them in their schools and routine they are in.

Karissa is in fifth grade and growing like a weed. She has a boyfriend and is as tall as me almost. She is beautiful and smart and very artistic. She is very excited about middle school next year.

Cara is in 2nd grade and way too smart. She is very sensitive and worries a lot. She won the district reading bee this year and went on to state. She has an awesome pixie hairdo and loves animals and nature.

Kylie is in kindergarten and bored. She reads like a 2nd or 3rd grader and is fed up with her class having so many trouble makers in it. She wants to take ballet or gymnatics. She is still very petite and love fashion. She quietly tries to mimic Karissa's style (which Karissa hates) but looks so cute on Kylie.

Caleb is all boy. He is into batman and soccer. He is a bundle of energy all the time. He goes to a sitter and loves to "tuddle" still. He is a motor mouth and instigates a lot with the girls.